To have it all – what does that mean? This typically means to have a great education career, be a wife and mother that’s the whole package right?
Which probably means that you’ll be exhausted, your hair might not be done on time, you manicure might get ruined from getting your hands dirty with the kids, you won’t spend all your time with the kids, your boss is annoyed by the fact you have to leave work early to pick up the kids, your kids are angry at you for not going to their soccer game and you husband is throwing a strop because you’re too tired to have sex with him. *sigh* I haven’t even got half of the ‘Have it All” package but I still feel like I can.
After watching this interview between Oprah and Shonda Rhimes I became more defensive and determined to have it all. Now I don’t believe marriage is for everyone and if you genuinely don’t want to walk down the aisle – then don’t do it. But it’s another thing to find excuses not to when you really want to. All due respect to them “coming out” after having their – in the words of Oprah “..epiphany of marriage” but I just wasn’t comfortable with their tone, it was almost some sort of propaganda feature thats says if you want your dream career then marriage isn’t going to fit into that lifestyle.
On the contrary, Elizabeth Warren Senator of Massachusetts, dropped out of university to start a family, went back and eventually became a senator. The first thing I wanted to know was her secret and in an interview with OWNSHOW which happens to be Oprah’s Network ironically, (so maybe I should be a little easy on her) she simply states “Be a problem solver”. Which brings to light the reality that balancing all aspects of life is challenging but it’s possible to work around it.
Contrary to what Oprah called a “major epiphany”, I think planning ahead to have the whole package is the the major epiphany, because women sacrificing one part of their lives for another part that’s already in place is on the rise. More women feel it’s selfish to try to have a career and have kids and a family or just can’t see it fitting into their lives because work takes up so much time but would still like to do so in an ideal world.
To some extent, the lives we have for ourselves is all about the choices we make , but sometimes we let these choices override another potential choice in the making and we don’t see how all these decisions can work together. But it’s a choice- okay am I saying “choice” too much? It could be easier nowadays as we have the options to freeze our eggs, hire a nanny (not to raise the child- that’s your job), skype, FaceTime, and the good old fashion ability to plan and create time. Taking this all into account it appears very possible but extremely challenging to have it all.